Collaborative Divorce
We Take Justice to Heart
Gary Divorce understands how trying a divorce can become. We want to help you make the best choices, the right choices for you and the ones you love.
Through our online and in person services, we are committed to help you obtain the outcomes you want and need in order to move forward with your life plans and goals. Ideally, we would like to help you move through a peaceful and rational divorce process. Although this doesn’t always end up being the case, we will give you our very best so you can work towards a healthy, sustainable future.
Our priorities are your priorities.
What Is Collaborative Divorce?
In a collaborative split, both parties agree that they can settle all the messy details of a divorce without the traditional mudslinging in court.
The process starts with a general meeting between both parties. In attendance will be the attorney representing each party. Although occasionally an attorney will represent both parties, to ensure that both parties are protected, it’s better that each party has his or her separate attorney.
Collaborative law is a teaching process. While each attorney watches out for the needs of their client, under a collaborative divorce, the attorneys act more as counselors and mediators rather than separate opponents.
The attorneys will lay out all of the important criteria that needs to be ironed out in a divorce such as the division of property, division of assets, child support, possible marital alimony, and overall custody and visitation agreements with one another.
Is Every Divorce a War?
Far from it. Contrary to popular opinion, not every divorce has to be ugly. At Gary Divorce, we firmly believe that whenever possible, collaborative divorce is the best option.
Have you ever heard of a divorce horror story? There ae plenty of them out there.
Such as the 2008 couple that literally sawed there house in half over a divorce. Or the female part of a divorced couple who had to kidnap her own Rusell Terrier back. Or the man who returned from a business trip only to find out that every stick of furniture had been cleaned out all the way to the light bulbs.
It Doesn't Need to Be
It’s incredibly easy for emotions to get the better of divorced couples.
If you are going through a divorce and want to drop the “Divorce is War” philosophy, a great place to start is by contacting one of our Gary Divorce counselors or mediators. These specialists work to minimize heightened emotions, therefore reducing the risk of heated angry arguments. When anger, frustration, or resentment gets in the way, neither party wins and it becomes an unbearably painful experience.
There is no shame in asking for help. A third party can be your solution to an amicable separation.
On Your Terms
Once both parties are understanding of most of the sticking points in a divorce, the parties will be asked, usually separately, whether they wish to continue with the collaboration procedure.
If either party is not “all in” on the collaborative process, a collaborative legal split will not work out.
Owing to how closely the attorneys have become with both parties, if collaboration will not work, then generally both parties need to find new attorneys who will represent them in the traditional legal manner, including depositions and court appointments.
For the process to work, it’s also very important to select legal counsel who are experienced and trained in the collaborative process and believes in the collaborative process. Not every attorney fits that bill.
Building Your Collaborative Team
Once a couple agrees to a collaborative split, or alternatively to an amicable separation, often the two attorneys working together can help the couple plow through most of the conflicting factors in a collaborative split or an amicable separation.
However, vital non-legal participants in the collaborative team may include:
Divorce coaches
Therapists or psychologists
Child welfare specialists
Accountants
Financial planners
Even real estate agents or appraisers.
One of the major reasons for couples to divorce is not that they hate one another, but simply that they have just drifted apart. These couples generally recognize that at this point in their lives, they are generally better off alone, but wish nothing but the best for their former partners in the future. However, they often struggle with the best ways to proceed fairly and equitably.
High-value clients, professionals or business owners are often particularly perplexed over how to assign value for services rendered from the other spouse. And whatever the final dissolution in a final collaborative settlement, the outcome is rather to be significantly better than if the court makes the decision. Similarly, those who get custody of the kids feel a whole lot better about the end results, and spend far fewer hours in the future in courts, arguing about back child support. And important visitation agreements are resolved.
Keeping Separation Fair and Just
While collaborative break-ups are definitely cheaper, that’s certainly not the main reason to go the collaborative route. The plain fact is, that most couples are significantly happier with one another and feel the results are fair. In addition, the results are private. If there are circumstances such as marital cheating or other problems in the relationship, a minor crime, or a lapse into drug or alcohol addiction, none of those elements need be discussed in a divorce or separation that are collaborative. On the other hand, lots of dirty laundry is rehashed in a public court case to gain a competitive advantage.
In addition with a divorce or separation that is collaborative, you spend a whole lot less time in either court or depositions. And divorce attorney’s, at upwards of $300 and hour, can certainly rack up the bills. Some contested divorces run as high as $100,000 while the average cost of a divorce is around $15,000.
Is a Collaborative Split Right for Everyone?
The answer, naturally is no. However, even if one partner has a sticking point that can’t be solved by the collaborative process, the time is generally not wasted. Although new attorney’s may be involved, providing 80 to 90 percent of the issues between the couple are resolved, the litigation process may proceed more quickly.
It’s possible for example, to make a settlement offer to get over that major sticking point and ultimately the divorce can be settled without actual court litigation.
If you and your partner are going through a legal separation or divorce and the two of you are amicable to one another, the collaborative approach is the way to start.